family matters
Guest Speakers:
Roy Dowdy
Tracey Dowdy
Water cooler conversation:
What was your biggest win this week? What was your biggest challenge?
How did your family resolve conflict?
Unpack the Message:
Colossians 3:12-17 follows Paul establishing that the community formed by and in Christ is not divided along ethnic, societal, or any other boundary - our identity is in Christ as part of His church. He outlines the characteristics that should define us and make us stand out from those outside a relationship with Him.
Being intentional about cultivating Christlikeness in our lives will enable us to create strong and healthy bonds within our families. In verse 12, Paul calls us chosen people to clarify that he is not speaking to the unsaved or those with no desire to follow Christ. Both the church at Colossae and believers today have been the object of God's great love, as evidenced by Christ's work of salvation. That's why Paul calls us holy. Holiness is more than simply being moral. You can be moral - honest, compassionate, sexually pure - and still not be holy—called out and set apart through our relationship with Christ. We are holy because He is holy (Leviticus 11:45; Colossians 1:22).
Paul also reminds us that we are dearly loved. While God loves everyone (John 3:16), those who are in relationship with Him enjoy an intimacy those outside God's family can never experience, and we see others as He sees them. When conflicts arise, instead of reacting, we should respond as Christ would - with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Paul tells us that we are to bear with one another. Who will you most often need forgiveness from? Your family. Who will you most often need to show compassion? Your family. Bearing with one another carries the connotation of supporting rather than enduring one another since we have access to a love that binds us in perfect unity as followers of Christ. Paul isn't suggesting that there will never be conflict, but rather that when they come, we can draw on that perfect love found in Christ. God, holy and perfect, forgives us, so how much more are we compelled to forgive others.
Paul also challenges the Colossians, and by extension us, to let peace rule in our hearts because we are called to peace (Colossians 3:15). The peace of Christ is to be central to our relationships with others and in our circumstances.
When we ignore conflict, particularly within our family, resentment builds, and communication breaks down. When we've been wronged, our first response should be to initiate a conversation, even if it's uncomfortable. We must attack the problem, not the person. If we go in with absolutes - "you always," "you never" - the other person will immediately become defensive, and the conversation will become heated and off-topic. If you're the one who's wounded or has offended another, it's essential to take responsibility for your actions. Actively listen and try to understand their point of view. Resolve your conflict quickly, and don't hang on to hurt. Remember, ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Allowing resentment to build means that minor annoyances will quickly become major irritants, leading to bigger and bigger arguments.
Paul continues by challenging believers to dwell in the Word and to "teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts" (Colossians 3:16).
Paul wants us to see the importance of worshipping God. The first time worship is mentioned in Scripture is in Genesis 22, when Abraham, Issac, and a servant have traveled to Mount Moriah. On the surface, Genesis 22 is a problematic passage of Scripture. But when we place this story in the broader context of Scripture, we see that this is one of the most straightforward stories pointing us toward God's solution to the problem of death in our world and establishes what true worship is. Before they ascend the mountain, Abraham turns to his servant and says, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship, and then we will come back to you" (Genesis 22:5). There is no music, no singing, no instruments playing.
Instead of seeing worship as an experience that feeds, energizes, encourages, or any other self-focused objectives, we must understand that worship is turning our attention wholly on Jesus. True worship comes at a cost. It calls for sacrifice and obedience. Abraham was obedient to God because he knew God would provide the sacrifice (Genesis 22:8). It's clear from the text that he was confident Isaac would not die. He tells the servant, "We will worship, and then we will come back to you." That is worship - sacrificing that which means the most to us so that others may be blessed. Jesus is our ultimate example. He laid down his life so that all of creation could be reconciled to God in the sacrifice. True worship sets aside self in grateful surrender to God, so we worship with a grateful heart recognizing all God has done for us.
Reflect:
How do you show or create peace within your family? Do you talk around the problem instead of into it?
What areas of your life do you need to work on to bring about peace in your family?
Which of these areas do you most need to grow in?
Can anyone share an example where they failed in any of these areas?
How about a case where someone else showed one of these qualities toward you?
What does it mean to bear with one another?
Do you ever find it difficult to forgive others? Why?
Make a Move:
Are you holding resentment toward anyone or is there someone you need to aplogize to? Pray for courage, discernment, and wisdom as you confront that individual and resolve the conflict.
Prayer Prompt:
Father, You demonstrated your great love and compassion for us in reconciling us to You through Jesus’ death on the cross. Thank you for empowering us to see others as You see them and through Holy Spirit power, forgiving them as you forgave us. Amen