deep resentment
This week’s Takeaway is from eGroup leader Debby Stokes White.
Do you ever feel like the world is against you? You're not alone. In 1 Samuel 1, we meet Elkanah and his two wives, Peninnah and Hannah. Peninnah was able to have children, but this passage tells us that "the Lord had closed Hannah's womb ." Hannah suffered great pain as she greatly desired children, only to remain barren year after year. Peninnah took pleasure in taunting Hannah about her lackings, and despite the greater love her husband Elkanah had towards Hannah, she was so miserable she could not even eat.
Hannah brought her anguish in prayer before the Lord in His house. She prayed silently in her heart, but her lips moved as if she was speaking aloud, and her face mirrored the deep distress of her heart. As a result, Eli, the priest, mistook her actions for drunkenness. When he rebuked her, she opened up to Eli about her deep grief and told him she was "Pouring out my soul to the Lord." In return, Eli encourages her to "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him."
When they returned home, Elkanah and Hannah's relations were finally fruitful, and in God's time, she birthed a boy named Samuel, which means "I asked the Lord for him ."Hannah promised to give Samuel back to the Lord in service once he was weaned, saying, "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." In chapter 2, Hannah's beautiful song of praise to the Lord is recorded as she once again pours her heart out to God, only this time in thanksgiving and awe.
Pour out your pain. Before my husband and I were blessed with our two beautiful boys, we suffered three miscarriages in 13 months. During this time, I greatly related to Hannah of the Bible, as I ugly cried before the Lord, asking why this was happening to us and begging him to fill our arms with a child. Hannah knew emotional wounds, like physical ones, couldn't go untended. She poured her heart out in such a raw and authentic way that she was mistaken for a crazy drunk lady. I have no doubt that I, too, looked inebriated amid my talks with God over the course of that year. Our pain isn't meant to be bottled up inside of us. God wants us to lay it at his feet. (I Peter 5:7) He can handle our hurt, He can handle our questions, He can handle our anger. Pour out your pain straight to God.
But don't forget, you can also pour out your pain to those who love you. Pastor Christian's words from last week still apply here. You are not alone: Share the load with those who share the Spirit. One of the places I poured out my pain was in a small group of other women also struggling with infertility and loss. We called ourselves "Hannah's Hope ."We regurgitated all the heartbreak we felt in a safe space with others who couldn't just sympathize but could genuinely empathize with our feelings. (Galatians 6:2) I'm not sure I would have survived that time of my life without the support these dear women offered me.
What are some other things we often run to in order to numb the pain instead of taking it straight to God?
When was the last time you truly poured out your feelings and pain to the Lord?
If you have never prayed with such a passion, what is holding you back from
doing so?
Are you actively building a support system to share the load you carry? What are the names of 1 or 2 safe friends you can reach out to today? Is there an egroup you can join to lay the foundation with others who can be your strength during future hardship?
God is in control. God is good. God has a plan. It's important to remember that God's got this. But it's OK to admit that it sucks in the meantime. God can handle our honesty.
Pain + Preparation
Pain + Purpose
Pain + Praise
God is the redeemer of pain. While I wouldn't wish the pain we endured during our season of loss fifteen years ago on anyone, I can see how God was able to take it and use it for His good. I can see now how my greatest ACHES gave me one-of-a-kind ACCESS to others when the unimaginable happened. I was the first phone call when one friend started bleeding during her first trimester. Her husband was out of town for work, so I took her to her ultrasound and held her hand as the doctor told her she no longer detected a heartbeat. I was welcomed by another friend in the delivery room just after she delivered and lost her son in her 2nd trimester. We cried, we prayed, and we mourned together.
I cried happy tears with yet another friend who had a positive pregnancy test after five years of unsuccessful babymaking. Only to cry tears of sorrow with her weeks later when the pregnancy failed. I was the only one she was comfortable with in the pit of her despair, and we spent hours in her bedroom crying, lamenting, and sitting in silence together as she let go of all her dreams for that child. And just last year, I was the receiver of a phone call from a dear, dear friend whose daughter had just suffered a late-term loss of twin baby boys. A friend who had herself suffered a loss eerily similar just a decade ago. She had the strength to make just one call because the pain was too great to share over and over. She trusted me to share the heartbreaking news with all who needed to know and to rally support, meals, and prayer for her not-so-baby girl. Again and again, My PAIN has allowed my PRESENCE to be welcome in the midst of loss. While it certainly isn't a cheerful ministry God has given me, I wouldn't go back and change a minute of the time I was able to spend with these ladies in their loss over the years. It reminds me over and over again that God does indeed redeem our pain for HIs good.
In what ways have you seen God redeem past pain in your life?
If you are currently dredging through a season of pain, in what ways can you envision God redeeming this pain for the future?
Identify one person currently facing a trying time. Send them a text, call, or card of encouragement so that they know they are not alone.
MAKE A MOVE:
It's OK to have deep resentment when things don't go the way we plan, but we must lean into God in the midst of it and allow the hurt to be used for His future Kingdom. Follow Hannah's example and pour out your prayer and praise to God. Use a journal or the notes app on your phone to pour out all your pain and longings to God. Then record a prayer of praise for all God has done for you, a declaration of faith that what you are praying for will be answered.
What are the similarities between Hannah's Prayer in 1 Samuel 2 and Mary's Magnificat in Luke 1:46-55?
PRAYER PROMPT:
Heavenly Father, I declare as Hannah did that no one is holy like You, Lord. There is no one besides You. There is no Rock like You, my God. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to you, the Rock higher than I. I thank you that even when others look at me as crazy, you look at me with compassion. Help me be fully honest with you in all my struggles and stresses. Open my eyes to how you desire to use my pain to help others and glorify Your Kingdom. In Jesus Holy name, Amen.
FURTHER STUDY:
While polygamy is mentioned multiple times in the Old Testament, it is important to note that just because something is recorded in Scripture doesn't mean it has God's approval. Polygamous relationships in Scripture are never mentioned in a positive light and only bring problems for those within them. Abraham's bigamy resulted in bitterness between his wives, ultimately ending with Hagar and his son Ishmael departing the family. Jacob's marriage to Leah & Rachel fueled jealousy between the sisters and eventually led to his son Joseph being sold into slavery by his half-brothers.
Read 1 Kings 11:1-4. What was the impact on Solomon's heart as a result of his multiple wives?
While polygamy is no longer part of our culture, what are some modern trends that currently have the ability to draw our hearts away from the Lord?
Do you need prayer? Have feedback? Want to share something? Reach out to our staff.
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